The Naming Game
by Mysticbreeze327
Summary: Random drabbles on how leaders decide on warrior names or how mothers decide on the names of their kits. Read and review!
1. Squirrelflight and Leafpool

**Hi! Thanks for checking out my story! I wrote this pretty late so expect tons of randomness! I hope you enjoy it!**

**-Mysticbreeze327**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors, Erin Hunter does. **

**Leafpool and Squirrelflight**

Firestar paced outside the den, waiting for Cinderpelt to call him in.

Cinderpelt padded out of the nursery. "You have two healthy baby girls!" she exclaimed happily.

"Yay!" Fireheart cried, jumping up and down. "Two baby girls! Wait. GIRLS?"

Cinderpelt looked at him weirdly. "Yes. Girls."

"NOOOOO!"

"What's your problem."

"Well there go all my plans for a 'bravekit' or 'awesomekit.'"

"You were going to name your kit AWESOMEKIT!" Cinderheart said in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me."

"What?" Firestar protested. "It's an awesome name. Pun intended."

"Stupidest pun I've ever heard."

Firestar opened his mouth to say another retort when a bloodcurdling yowl came from the den.

"FIRESTAR GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!" The voice was undoubtedly Sandstorm's.

Firestar winced. "Coming Sandstorm!" Leaving Cinderheart in her shaking headness, he padded into the den.

Sandstorm lay on her side, to squirming…things, at her side.

"Sandstorm you've got two parasites growing out of your belly!" he exclaimed, wide eyed.

Sandstorm stared at him. "Those are the kits you idiot!"  
>"Oh. My bad," Firestar said sheepishly, all the while screaming in his head, "Oh StarClan my kits are hellah ugly."<p>

Sandstorm rolled her eyes, wondering why in the world she had liked this idiot. "So what are their names." Seeing the look on his face she said through gritted teeth, "You did think of names didn't you…"

"Uhhh."

**Flash Back**

Sandstorm padded up to Firestorm and rubbed against him, purring. "I'm going to have your kits."

"Cool!" Firestar exclaimed all the while eyeing the juicy squirrel on the fresh kill pile.

Sandstorm, purring, said, "And you'll think of names right?"

"Of course," Firestar said, not paying attention. "Of course I'll think of names."

**End Flash Back**

"Errrrr."

"You forgot didn't you," Sandstorm said angrily.

"No! Of course I didn't!" Firestar said quickly, looking subtlety around the den to find something to name his kit after. "How about, er, Wallkit, or Catkit? Or even better, KITKIT!"

If cats could facepalm, Sandstorm would have. "You want to name one of the kits KITKIT!"

Cinderpelt poked her head inside the den. "Wow that's even worse than Awesomekit! Way to go Firestar!"

"Shut up Cinderpelt! No catmint for you!"

"So you're the one whose been stealing my catmint!"

"Uhhhh no…."

"Did you know that eating more than a pound of catmint a day will kill you right?" Cinderpelt said slyly.

"What!" NOOOOO! CINDERPELT SAVE ME!" Firestar cried, throwing himself to the floor.

"Aha! So you admit to stealing my catmint!" Cinderpelt cried, triumphant.

Sandstorm hissed angrily at both of them. "What are we going to name our kits Firestar!"

Firestar looked uncertain. "Uh. How about Cinder and Sandkit?"

"Seriously. That was the best you could do?"

"Well if you don't like my ideas why don't you make them up?" Firestar asked in what he thought was a clever way to make Sandstorm make up the names for the kits without revealing he hadn't thought of names.

Sandstorm rolled her eyes. "I was thinking Leaf and Squirrelkit."

"Well if you WANT to go with boring names then sure."

"Firestar!"  
>"Fine, fine. But with names like that they will probably end up as failed medicine cat who had kits and a heartbroken warrior who stupidly lost her mate because she kept a secret from him!"<p>

Cinderheart laughed. "That could never happen!"

"Yea your probably right."

**Before the warrior ceremony…**

Firestar lay in his den wondering why the sun always had to set. _Does it just feel like going to sleep at night? Or does it just not like me? OMIGOSH THE SUN HATES MEEEEEEEEEEE!_

Dustpelt poked his head into the den. "Firestar its time."  
>Firestar looked up. "Time for what?"<p>

Dustpelt shook his head as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You know… the warrior ceremony… your DAUGHTER'S warrior ceremony?"

"My… daughter?"

Dustpelt walked forward and smacked him in the face. "SQUIRRELPAW!"

"Oh yea. Her," Firestar said.

Duspelt looked at him suspiciously. "Have you been taking Cinderpelt's catmint again? She will retaliate…."

Firestar looked guiltily at the pile of catmint leaves in the corner of his den. "Maybe…"

Dustpelt sighed, and grabbing Firestar's tail between his teeth, dragged him out of the den.

Firestar blinked as the sun hit his eyes and climbed a rock he called 'place where my minions have to look up to me' or 'pride rock.' Spotting his daughter looking expectantly at him, his mind went into overdrive. _What do call her what to call her? I know! Squirrelmint! _Noticing Cinderpelt's glare quickly tossed that idea away. _Hmmm…._

**Flashback**

Firestar padded up to his daughter. He had just had a good dose of catmint, so his mind was a bit fuzzy. "Squirrelbutt!"

Squirrelpaw looked at him strangely. "What?"

Firestar looked at her sternly. "I wanted you to know that for me to accept you as my daughter, there is a certain ceremony you have to take part it.

"What is it?"

"You must fly."

"You know father, recently you have been really mean to Brambleclaw and I and I was like okay he is just being protective. But this is to much. I think I'll leave…"

Firestar shrugged. "Yea whatever. AFTER the ceremony."

Squirrelpaw gave up. 'Okay, what do I need to do?"

Firesetar looked around him. "You have to fly off 'pride rock," he said, pointing at the rock. "And you have to survive."

Squirrelpaw looked scared. "You know…. I don't remember Leafpaw having to do this."

Firestar looked down at his daughter. "Well the did. But you know who didn't? Your other sister, Barney."

"Who in StarClan is Barney?"

"She was the most beautiful daughter I have ever had the pleasure of having," Firestar sniffled. "Unfortunately she fell on her head in a berry patch and thought she was a purple dinosaur. A MALE purple dinosaur. So yea…"

"I can't believe I'm related to you," Squirrelpaw muttered.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Firestar shouted.

Sqirrelpaw cowered on the floor. "I said, that you are the most perfect daddy ever!"

"Good girl. NOW GO AND FLY!"

"Yes Firestar!" Squirrelpaw climbed onto the rock and threw herself off. Landing on her two feet she turned to her father and said, "I'm going hunting, with Brambleclaw."

Firestar's eyes widened with anger. "Don't you dare! That tom is going to break your heart!"

Squirrelpaw looked disgusted. "Like I could ever like him…" Without a backwards glance, she padded out of camp.

**End Flashback**

_And she never came back…._ Firestar thought to himself. Satisfied with his decision he said, "This apprentice standing before me is a ninja assassin who has learned the secret trade or origami folding from her mentor, Feathertail. This shows that she has the potential to become a, er, warrior! I, Firestar the awesome, name you Squirrelflight. Happy? Good." With a final nod of his head he went back to his den not noticing Squirrelfight and Leafpool hiding their heads in shame.

"You have got to be kidding!" Sandstorm muttered.

"And who's been stealing my catmint!"

**I told you it would be random. XD If its super terrible I will delete it… :D Anyways… be nice and review! (Constructive) criticism is welcomed. Thanks!  
><strong>

**-Mysticbreeze327**


	2. Mosskit, Mistystar, and Stonefur

**Chapter 2! *applause applause applause. Thanks to everybody who reviewed! That's Mossshine, Demonkitty101, Sandtail, and InvaderVyn! Pretty good for a couple of hours!**

**Sandtail: Thank you for you kind review!**

**Demonkitty101: I hope you can fix the stain! That would be very annoying if you couldn't. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Mossshine: I warned you that it would be random! And yes, comedy is hard to write. If you don't do it properly, it ends up becoming being terrible. Thanks for you nice review!  
>InvaderVyn: :D TYFR! <strong>

**Chapter 2: Mistystar, Stonefur, and Mosskit**

Bluefur's felt the kits lurching inside her. Dragging herself to the border between RiverClan and ThunderClan she collapsed by the river. Calling for her mate, she waited for him to appear. When he didn't she said angrily to herself, "Rotten tom-a-toe." Bluefur started to push her kits out, and two hours later, successfully gave birth to three healthy kits. The faced the three kits. "Whoa. You three are all the same color. You have no individuality."

The three kits squirmed against her side, whimpering softly.

Bluefur looked at the kits. "What to name you, what to name you." Picking up one of the kits, the only boy, she nearly fell over. "You are FAT! You are like a great big stone." She paused. "Stonekit!" She jumped with joy. "I am a genius!"

Finally, a brown shape weaved down the bank on the opposite side of the river. Oakheart.

'Oakheart," Bluefur said angrily. "Did you not hear my calling?"

"I'm sorry Bluey," he said in a simpering voice.

Bluefur recoiled. "BLUEY! DO I LOOK LIKE A BLUEBERRY! I'm not that fat am I?"

Oakheart stared at her round belly and opened his mouth.

"Don't answer that."

Oakheart's mouth closed with a snap. Readying his paws to leap into the river to swim to his mate, he was interrupted by a voice.

"OH Oakheart honey!"

Bluefur's head whipped around. She hissed as she saw Graypool sitting on the other side, her tail curled around her tail.

Graypool looked across the river. "Oaky honey, why are you talking to stinky paws over there?" Looking at Bluefur. "Hey Stinkyfur. I see you had kits?"

Bluefur hissed at the she cat. "Go away Fartpool. No one wants you here."

"I know Oakheart wants me here. Right Oakheart?" Graypool looked at Oakheart, her eyes looking at him lovingly,

Oakheart gagged. "Uh sure…."

Graypool weaved herself around Oakheart, purring. "I'll be waiting at camp for you sweetie."

Now it was Bluefur's time to gag. She threw up, unfortunately, on her kits' heads.

The kits squealed and squirmed as the remains of her lunch, a mouse, fell on their heads.

"Oops," Bluefur muttered. "Sorry kids." Glaring at Graypool, she watched her leave, all the while muttering, "Fartypoo is going home, going home. Please don't let her fart on my head. She can't even eat a mouse without farting very loudly and irritating everybody. Not as loudly Oakheart screams when he sees a skunk though."

Oakheart appeared at her side. "What?"

"Uhh nothing…"  
>Oakheart nosed the kits. "What are their names."<p>

"Well I was GETTING there when you and Miss Annoying appeared."

"And that is my fault how?"

"Everything is your fault."

"Hmf."

One of the kits, a girl, bit Bluefur on the tail, and though she had no sharp teeth, it still hurt. Bluefur gave a small shriek. "Stupid kit." Taking the kit by the scruff of her neck, Bluefur dragged the kit in front of her. "I hate you and your siblings. You shouldn't be alive!"  
>Oakheart shoved her gently. "That's not nice. I know that you are afraid of the outcome of this but…"<p>

Bluefur stared at the she-kit. "Like the mist, I wish you would disappear. So I name you Mistykit."

The kit looked annoyed, even with her eyes closed. She scooted away from her mother, squeaking indignantly.

Oakheart looked at Mistykit. "Well she's gray so—"

"DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME TO NAME HER GRAYKIT!"  
>"I wasn't going too!"<p>

"YOU BETTER NOT TELL ME TO NAME MY KIT AFTER A CRAZY CAT WHO WISHES EVERY LEAFBARE THAT SANTA CLAUS WILL COME AND GIVE HER A YEARS WORTH OF CATMINT."

"I was going to say—"

"AND TO TRY TO MAKE HIM COME, SHE HOSTS STRANGE RITUALS WHERE SHE DANCES AROUND A TREE THAT HAS A FACE LIKE THINGY ON IT CHANTING 'PLEASE COME SANTA PLEASE COME! I'VE BEEN A GOOD GIRL!"

"I was going to say that I agree with you!"

"Oh."

Oakheart shook her head. "Moving on from your… outburst. What are we going to name the last kit?"

"I don't care," Bluefur muttered. "You decide. As long as its not Graykit."

Oakheart rolled his eyes. "Well I love the smell of fresh moss, so why not name her moss kit."

Bluefur actually looked pleased. 'I love that!"  
>The small kit purred and pressed herself against her mother.<p>

Bluefur looked tenderly at the kit. "You are my favorite."

Stonekit and Mistykit squeaked indignantly.

Oakheart nuzzled the small kits. "I love you both so much."

After a couple touching moments, Bluefur muttered, "Well this is awkward. Lets go." Touching her nose with Oakheart's one more time, she took the three kits by the scruffs of their necks, and ignoring their squeaks, started back to camp.

**And end chapter!**

**Review! And give me suggestions of who to do next!**


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